7 Myths About Dating Bisexual Guys — Because No, We Aren’t “Puzzled”

Whenever I first arrived on the scene as bisexual, I imagined globally might possibly be mine the accepting. After many years of battling my sexual orientation, I imagined every thing would fall into place the minute I approved and liked myself personally to be as a bi believed my online dating existence would explode.

I could today date individuals of all men and women

, from the considering to myself personally. For the first time in quite a long time, I happened to be stoked up about the long run. I became stoked up about the prospect of matchmaking. And I also was thrilled to get myself personally available.

I was terribly naive.

I didn’t be aware of the cruel
stereotypes that plague bisexual males
. Having satisfied not too many out bisexual males in real world, I hadn’t formed any philosophy about bi guys myself, and provided the
not enough representation
when you look at the news, i did not realize both direct females and homosexual males have numerous preconceptions about online dating bi males.

Check out on the untrue myths i have heard about male bisexuality since I was released as bi over a year ago — and just why they’re not located in any fact, at the least during my situation.

Myth #1: That Individuals’re Using It As A Stepping-stone To Getting “Full-Blown Gay”

For all folks who happen to be bisexual, its no way a phase. We aren’t experimenting.
We’re not puzzled.
We aren’t in denial. Yes, some homosexual men used “bisexual” as a fleeting label on the road to gaytown, and that is OK. But simply since you learn some homosexual men just who used the label as a pit stop, that doesn’t mean all of us perform. Do not invalidate a simple section of the identification by telling you we’re “baffled.”

This occurs in my experience constantly — oftentimes, with homosexual men. When I let them know I’m bi, I get this pitiful look, that’s typically associated with anything like, “Oh, don’t be concerned, honey, you’re going to get there.” I have it. You might have used “bi” as a stepping material, but that doesn’t mean i will be. Save your valuable shame for an individual just who needs it.

Myth # 2: That People’re Greedy Sex Addicts

It’s not in regards to the intercourse. If you actually believe that bisexual men are just horndogs, then you need to reevaluate just what

your

price in your partnerships. Matchmaking and love is really a whole lot more than simply intercourse. We’re not bi because we wish to bone every thing with a hole. Contrary to public opinion, bisexual males still have requirements. I might be bi, but We however you shouldn’t necessarily would you like to rest along with you.

Oh, without:
we fundamentally you shouldn’t stay for threesomes
, very kindly, stop inquiring.

Myth #3: That Our Gender Appearance Is Actually Right Connected With The Sexual Orientation

Like most various other sexual orientation on the market, all of our sex phrase has nothing related to all of our intimate choices. Sure, some bi the male is a lot more usually “masculine-presenting,” whereas others could be more “feminine-presenting” — but that does not mean we’re
“gayer” or “straighter”
than other bi men. It also doesn’t mean we an over-all choice toward one sex more. It really indicates we behave in a fashion that community features arbitrarily determined matches a certain sex.

Or, you can be just like me. I am both highly male and feminine-presenting. I’ve my personal

“Yass queen”

moments and my “Bro” minutes. But no, that nonetheless does not state anything about my personal destinations to different men and women.

Myth # 4. That Individuals All Like People Just As

We may not be just as drawn to people. We possibly may or cannot choose one sex much more. Our amount of interest to at least one sex may increase or decrease over time.
We aren’t all 50/50
, but the audience is nevertheless bisexual. And kindly, try not to ask you just who we like even more.

Because at the conclusion of a single day, while I inform you I like you and wish to be along with you, this means exactly that. My different crushes not matter.

Myth # 5: We Can Not Be Monogamous And Faithful

Bisexuality does not push you to be anymore or less likely to want to end up being polyamorous, or any
more likely to deceive
. Regardless of sexual orientation, folks cheat. Heterosexual people cheat. Homosexual individuals cheat. Pansexual and bisexual folks cheat. Aside from sexual orientation, individuals may also get a hold of non-monogamous types of relationships — or they could prefer to get monogamous.

Since I’ve come-out as bisexual, I have not as soon as cheated on any companion i have had. I actually merely cheated

before

We arrived on the scene as bisexual, as I was actually intimately baffled.

Myth number 6: That People’re All “Tops”

We aren’t all surfaces. Some bisexual guys enjoy to base.

Also, simply because you’re a female, does not mean it’s not possible to enter males. Fingertips, tongue, or yep, a strap on, are all reasonable online game. Many of us understand how great it seems, and love the power and susceptability which comes from getting penetrated.
I am aware I Actually Do
, and there is
absolutely nothing nowadays hotter
than becoming penetrated by a woman. You are going to have to take my term because of it — or much better, never. Discover the truth for yourself.

Myth number 7: That We Scatter HIV To Girls

There is an awful and hurtful mistaken belief that bisexual the male is significantly more prone to spread HIV to heterosexual women over different fraction teams.
This is exactly incorrect
. In 2014, M. Reuel Friedman, Ph.D., MPH, a researcher at University of Pittsburgh, Graduate School of community Health
posted a study
in

LGBT Wellness

, named

From Bias to Bisexual wellness Disparities: Attitudes Toward Bisexual Men and Women in america

. His study analyzed why people think, regardless of the information, that bisexual men are distributing HIV.

As Friedman told

HIV Plus
, ”

Whether it’s anxiety about gay individuals, concern with bisexual folks, concern with black men and women, and/or anxiety about HIV not-being a solely ‘gay’ disease. Mass media, plus clinical literary works, hasn’t constantly reported in an unprejudiced means on bisexual individuals; next, once you generate a sexually transmitted disease definitely more often than not deadly if without treatment, and a very disproportionate infection rate among African-Americans, you may have a kind of jet energy for incendiary press.”

I understand precisely why individuals might think bisexual guys distribute HIV to females at dramatically higher prices. Folks want anyone to blame, but bisexual males shouldn’t be the scapegoat. HIV is actually carried through condom-less sexual intercourse and intravenous medicine use, maybe not bisexual men which practice safe sex.

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